


lil sans

by Yoshichao



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Joke Fic, Reader-Insert, its a joke but i also consider it canon and think about it a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 15:20:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15342702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoshichao/pseuds/Yoshichao
Summary: "are you ready to meet... lil sans?"





	lil sans

You can't help but gasp as you pull away to look at Sans' face, making sure he's serious. You two have known each other for a long time now, and your relationship has only gotten closer and closer since then. You've indulged his bad jokes and gotten good at retaliating with your own. You've gone on countless dates to Grillby's. You've confided in each other about your worst fears and nightmares; you regularly cuddle on the couch together. You've even eaten Papyrus' spaghetti - that's just how strong your bond is, and how much you've come to care for him and his family.

You're ready to take it to the next level.

"I'm ready," you say, your voice barely above a whisper, as if anything louder will break this perfect moment. Sans nods solemnly, then gets up from the couch and goes into a different room, shutting the door behind him. You wait.

About a minute later, Sans reemerges from the room. He has not changed out of his hoodie and shorts, but he is carrying a bundled up blanket in his arms. You can't believe this is really happening - you think you might cry.

"here he is," Sans says, his smooth baritone voice quieter than usual. He sits beside you, and you have to hold back your enamoured squeals when you see what's in the blanket. "heh, little guy didn't wanna get up. he's so lazy - wonder where he gets it from?"

Bundled up in the blankets is a little skeleton that's the splitting image of Sans. He even has a blue sweater and little pink slippers!! How cute! The baby's smile is a big grin and you can see the eyelights in his sockets, but you don't see any signs of him acknowledging you.

"Does he sleep with his eyes open?" you ask. Sans gives you a little head tilt, which may be an affirmative nod or may be a negatory shake. You're not entirely sure - he can still be pretty mysterious even after all this time.

"babybones don't develop eyelids until they're a bit older," he explains. "helps them photosynthesize when they're young, y'know?"

That makes complete sense. You stare at Lil Sans in silence for a moment, in absolute awe over how cute he is. Eventually, you slowly reach out to take his lil skelehand in yours.

"He's so soft!" You can't help but give the little hand a squeeze - it's like it's covered in a thin layer of fabric and also filled with stuffing. Sans chuckles at your reaction.

"baby skeletons are born with fur, to help protect them from the elements. i guess it's the opposite of most animals, huh?"

You are just learning SO much about skeletons today. What a fantastic day. You're about to ask if you can hold him, but Sans seems to read your mind and holds the little bundle of joy out to you. You can't stop the smile on your face as you take Lil Sans into your arms and just watch him sleep. You want to give him kisses on the skull because of how precious he is, but you're afraid of waking him up. Opening your mouth, you're about to ask Sans something else about young skeletons, but the look on his face stops you.

"...uh oh." He's staring hard at the baby, bone brow furrowed. You look back and forth between them to see what's up, but you don't notice any changes.

"What? What's wrong? A-Am I doing something wrong?"

"no, it's not you. lil sans is waking up."

There's a lump in your throat, and you suddenly feel nervous. "Is... is that bad?"

"...oh no."

"What??"

"oh noooooo--" Sans takes his hand out of his pocket and moves it towards the baby's eyes. His hand obscures your vision for a moment, but once he moves away again, you see that one of Lil Sans' sockets has gone dark, and the other... the white eyelight has gotten bigger?

"ohhhhh nooooooo!" Your skelebae keeps saying this as he gets up from the couch and crosses the room to reach the light switch. He flicks off the lights, and you immediately notice that Lil Sans' white eyelight is now glowing blue. ...Or green. One of the two. Bit of both, maybe.

"watch yourself pal," Sans says, returning to the couch. "kid's awake."

"Wh-What do I do?" you ask, suddenly overwhelmed by the situation. "Is... Is he gonna hurt me??"

"you gotta go get my bro," he says, taking the baby from your arms. "he's the only one that can calm him down."

"O-Okay!" You nearly trip over the rug in the darkness, and the railing for the stairway jams into your stomach when you finally find it. Stumbling your way up the steps, you start calling out for Papyrus, praying that he's in his room. When the door to his room opens, you feel the greatest wave of relief wash over you.

"HUMAN, WHAT IS THE MATTER? AND WHY ARE THE LIGHTS OFF???" Suddenly Papyrus gasps, and you follow his gaze, and you gasp too!

Lil Sans is perched upon the ceiling fan as it spins around slowly, his eye glowing bright. Unexpectedly, the fan's rotation lurches abnormally, and the baby tumbles over and starts free falling. You are screaming. Papyrus surprises you by doing a heroic leap over the railing.

"DON'T WORRY LITTLE SANS, I WILL SAVE YOU!!!" The tall skeleton manages to snatch the babybones out of the air and tucks him close to his chest as he lands on the floor below with a roll. You exhale a breath you didn't know you were holding and nearly trip trying to get back down the stairs, your heart beating a mile a minute.

"Is he okay?!"

"DO NOT FRET! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE-- NYEH?!" Lil Sans suddenly starts shaking in Papyrus' arms, surrounded by a blue glow. Papyrus is trying his hardest to keep him still, but you know he's having trouble. "PLEASE, CALM DOWN LITTLE SANS!" he shouts, a bead of sweat rolling down his skull. "OR YOU WON'T BE ALLOWED TO HAVE... YOUR FAVOURITE SPAGHETTI!!!"

Papyrus runs into the kitchen and you follow hot on his heels. The tall skeleton dunks his nephew into the booster seat and ties a bib around his neck, and Lil Sans just _keeps vibrating_ , causing the chair to make an awful rattling noise. In moments, Papyrus is pulling out a full plate of spaghetti from the fridge and setting it down in front of the baby, twirling a fork full of noodles, sauce, and glitter and holding it in front of Lil Sans' mouth.

"HERE COMES THE SPAGHETTI PLANE! CHOO CHOO!"

Nothing happens at first, even with Papyrus' accurate spaghetti plane noises. You're worried this isn't going to work, but then... the spaghetti on the fork suddenly vanishes. Lil Sans stops shaking, and the glow surrounding him dissipates.

"hold on, lemee check if he's ok." You don't know where Sans was during all this (and honestly forgot he was here), so you're startled when he speaks up and walks past you through the darkness. Sans approaches his boy and gently places his hands on his skull. He makes a "hmm" hum and you think you hear something that sounds like peeling velcro.

"I-Is he okay...?" You repeat your question from earlier, hoping to get an answer this time. The room is silent - Sans doesn't move from his position in front of the baby; Papyrus has his hands to his face in concern. Finally, Sans moves to turn the lights on, and you see that Lil Sans' eyes have gone back to normal.

"Oh thank goodness!" That was one of the most stressful things you ever had to live through. And Lil Sans is still smiling away, as if nothing happened. There is some spaghetti on his teeth. He must really love it, and you almost feel bad that you don't feel the same way about Papyrus' cooking.

"you can always count on my bro," Sans says, and you're a bit surprised that he doesn't seem bothered by all that just happened. He must really have confidence in his brother's skills. "he's really got a way with kids. you could say he knows how to work his _magic_ on em."

"THERE WAS NO MAGIC INVOLVED, ONLY MY DELICIOUS SPAGHETTI!" Papyrus assures you, and Sans just shrugs. You will never doubt his spaghetti ever again. Lil Sans has nothing to say and needs someone to feed him, so you sit at the table to do just that. When the spaghetti disappears from the fork again, you did not see the way Sans' eye lit up for the briefest of seconds.

While you and Papyrus are feeding the baby, Sans turns to leave the kitchen. "welp, that was a lot of excitement for me, so i'm gonna catch a z. lil sans will probably get too tired to eat soon, so put him to bed for me, would ya?"

"SANS, YOU'RE SO LAZY!" Papyrus cries out, but reigns in his irritation for the sake of Lil Sans. "BUT SINCE YOU'RE 'CATCHING A ZEE' INSTEAD OF TAKING A NAP LIKE USUAL, I GUESS IT'S LESS LAZY THAN YOU USUALLY ARE. BUT I STILL THINK FEEDING YOUR SON IS MORE IMPORTANT!"

"Don't worry, Sans," you say, smiling warmly. "We'll make sure he gets to bed. You go relax."

"thanks. you're both the best." And with that, Sans takes a shortcut to his room. Resisting the urge to plop down immediately into bed, he goes over to his desk to sweep the "SANS UNDERTALE TOY PLUSH" tag into the garbage bin. Buries it under some papers and socks for good measure, just to make sure no one can stumble upon it.

This is _way_ more fun than having a pet rock.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks


End file.
